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20 East 84th Street, #19/19B is a 2-bed/2.5-bath on the market fr $2.8 million. (All listing photos courtesy of Douglas Elliman) 20 East 84th Street, #19/19B is a 2-bed/2.5-bath on the market fr $2.8 million. (All listing photos courtesy of Douglas Elliman)
New to the market on the Upper East Side is this tranquil corner duplex with an enormous set-back terrace and gorgeous skyline views. Addressed at 200 East 84th Street, unit #18B19B is a 2-bedroom, 2.5 bath home spanning the 18th and 19th floors in the southwest corner of a discreet, post-war building. The private terrace is approximately 900 square feet and is showered with sunlight. Not to be missed is a roomy eat-in kitchen, expansive ribbon windows, and a traditional staircase leading to the private areas above. According to the listing, actively being marketed by Douglas Elliman, "This home is an unparalleled gem and is the perfect full-time city retreat or pied-a-terre."
In this new series "Real listings, imagined lives," we take inspiration from real-life listings and overlay an imagined story. The traditional real estate listing descriptions are fictionalized to add fascination and a New York edge. The series will envision residents, neighborhoods, culture, and more around NYC homes for sale. New Yorkers are anything but ordinary, and so their home descriptions should not be either. So our stories take creative license and New York chutzpah to reveal the most interesting aspects of listings as we envision the lives lived in these amazing homes and communities.

Summary of this article: Michelle Sinclair Colman follows the harried assistant to a domineering interior designer. He's been sent to her Yorkville duplex to pick up a sample book, but finds more than he bargained for.
Setting: Yorkville, NYC

Oh, no she didn’t. Please tell me she didn’t...

A SoulCycle class in New York courtesy of Soul Cycle

↑ I just got out of my favorite SoulCycle class. Poppa is my hero. That man says jump and I ask how high?

Soul-Cycle-New-York Soul Cycle on the Upper East Side (Credit Soul Cylce via Douglas Elliman -1438 3rd Avenue, 12B

↑ I just worked out all of the damn stress and anxiety from working for horrific Heather. I have been waiting for this class all week long, it’s so cathartic. But as soon as I grabbed my phone, and I didn’t even actually grab it, I simply moved it off my clean clothes so it didn’t fall to the floor out of my locker, I happened to glance at the screen and saw the message:

(Pixabay)

Doll, pop over to my pad and grab that fabric sample I forgot. I know you just finished your fav class @SC. #stalker Then send it in an Uber to be downtown. ASAP!

200-East-84th-Street-03 Entrance to 200 East 84th Street (photo via Corcoran, 200 East 84th Street Apt. 6BC)

↑Good God, she didn’t even ask. She thinks she owns me. I actually wonder if she does? Damn it. I’m so sweaty. I’m so calm. Wait, no, strike that. I was so calm. Well, she’s ruined the zen, I might as well do her dang task and save my ass(istant) job. Why do I work out so close to her apartment?

Modern-Love-02 Guzim Bekteshi at his post and Isabel. (Courtesy Julie Margaret Hogben via wbur.org)

↑I breeze by Victor, the doorman I have come to know by name. “Good morning, Josh,” he calls after me in his heavily accented Russian.

200-East-84th-Street-04 200 East 84th Street, lobby #6BC (Corcoran)

↑ “Hi, hi! Rushing as always,” I call back as I look over my shoulder as I continue moving forward. Victor calls the elevator for me. What a guy. I wonder if he is a rock to Heather like Modern Love’s Guzim? Heather needs Guzim. Heather needs a lot.

200-East-80th-Street-nyc

↑I hop in the elevator and hit the 18th floor. How did Heather score this apartment? She may be the hot up-and-coming interior design star but is she 18th-floor duplex-worthy? I’m sure her daddy helped a bit here. Life is so unfair.

200-East-84th-Street-04 200 East 84th Street, #18/19B (Douglas Elliman)

↑I step into her flawless apartment and I’m blinded by the sun. It’s so dang bright in here with all of those windows reflecting the sunlight off her white walls and furniture.

↑ I contemplate whether I should take my shoes off not to bring city grit into her perfect world or risk a trail of sweaty sock marks. I chose the former.

200-East-80th-Street-05

↑ I can’t remember where she told me to look for the samples. I find my phone in my bag and, of course… she didn’t say. I am just supposed to know. Heather thinks I can read her mind. Which, I can.

(Stock image)

↑ I know she wants the new Kathryn M. Ireland printed velvet fabrics book.

↑ I wonder why Heather doesn’t use more patterns in her own decor but she declared her trademark style is “feminine monochrome.”

↑ God help any man who chooses to move in with her, he better like hot pink! Well, God help him for way more than that.

↑ I don’t see the book anywhere. It should be easy to spot because she’s meticulous. I’m surprised she doesn’t have human-sized coasters for guests to slide around the apartment.

↑ Her home always looks like it’s ready for a magazine shoot. I’ve only been here a few times before. She doesn’t ever (make that never) invite me in for an after-work cocktail. I’m just her indispensable gopher. A 30-year-old, a workaholic, cardio-addicted, single, Heather gofer. I’m so proud. Sigh...

↑ I continue my search. I walk into the kitchen and wonder how a suburban kitchen landed in this urban pad?

↑ That amazing deck is calling my name. I know she doesn’t want me snooping around but heck, I’m here, the sun is shining and that chaise needs me.

↑ I wonder if I should take off my spandex before I sit down? What if I leave a Soulcycle sweaty butt mark? I could throw my clothes in her washer and just get a little European suntan while I wait.

↑ These views are ameeeezing. Wish I could live in Beckford House & Tower under construction over there.

↑ I come back inside and race up the stairs, two at a time, as I try to fight off the chill I feel coming from my sweat getting cold.

↑ Wow, I’ve never been up here before. I can’t even imagine waking up in a luscious bed with crisp, white hotel sheets and that view every morning. I desperately want to throw myself onto the perfectly made bed but know the consequences are not worth the momentary pleasure of being engulfed in that heavenly down comforter.

↑ I peek into her bathroom. A nice, warm, bubbly soak in that super-deep tub would definitely take away the chill and soothe my sore muscles. Damn her and her ASAPs.

↑ I fight the urge to go through her bathroom drawers despite dying to see what magic fountain of youth potion she has in there - it must be a mixture of Botox and retinol IVs - she looks much too plastic to be natural.

↑ I back out of the bathroom with my hands up in the air. My shoulder angel and devil just duked it out and little angel won. No fun. I walk into the guest room and now the devil just came back out of nowhere and all of a sudden I realize I am galloping toward the bed, taking a flying leap into the air and bam...

(Pixabay)

↑ I find myself swathed in the fur blanket on the twin bed. Heaven! Time stops for a moment.

.

↑ As I lie on the bed with my feet toward the headboard and my head hanging backward off the mattress, it appears --an upside-down fabric sample book on the orange ottoman! Eureka!

200 East 84th awning (Mont Sky Real Estate)

↑ I am quickly yanked back to reality. I jump off the bed, grab the book, race down the stairs, find a bag in the kitchen, walk backward out of the apartment, making sure I have left no human traces. I order the Uber as I ride the elevator down to nod to Victor. He winks at me and I blush, wondering if he has any idea of the things I imagined doing upstairs. Although truth be told, I’m sure he has too!

200-East-84th-03 Third Avenue from 200 East 84th (Elegran)

↑ The Uber is waiting for me outside. I give the driver the bag. He drives off. I check Rumble’s schedule. I can make that class. So I race off down Third Avenue, with my bag banging against my back. Boy oh boy, I cannot wait to beat the crap out of the bag. I put my phone on airplane mode and throw it in my bag. I immediately fish it back out and turn it back on. Who do I think I am?

Rumble Upper East Side Photo: Rumble Boxing/Yelp
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Additional Info About the Building

 
Contributing Writer Michelle Sinclair Colman Michelle writes children's books and also writes articles about architecture, design and real estate. Those two passions came together in Michelle's first children's book, "Urban Babies Wear Black." Michelle has a Master's degree in Sociology from the University of Minnesota and a Master's degree in the Cities Program from the London School of Economics.
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